How to Handle “That Guy”
Tonight was our regular discussion meeting with a guest speaker from the community.
The topic was timely, and highly relevant to work inside and outside our organization. All the members are in attendance; a few unfamiliar faces scattered among them.
Good. Our promotional efforts are taking root.
It’s our habit when we have guests to provide a quick introduction — our name, how long we’ve been with the group. Maybe a brief insight to why we are involved. You know the drill.
Nothing out of the ordinary until we get to “That Guy” — that guy attending for the first time. That guy who spends 10 minutes making an opinionated statement as an introduction.
We listen attentively. We are polite. We wait patiently for the “introduction” to end.
Our attention turns to the guest speaker. In five sentences we learn the speaker has life experience, credentials, warmth, compassion, humor. We are hooked. “One of us,” we think.
Feeling connected, we settle in for the presentation.
A member asks a question. The speaker responds thoughtfully, understanding the question, and appreciative of the opportunity to engage the community.
“That Guy” seizes the moment to provide a monologue on a totally unrelated topic. We are still polite, yet less patient.
The pattern repeats over a long 2-hour meeting.
Eyes roll. Tension mounts. Various members interject comments to keep the group on topic. One member tips up to the edge of anger; says a few heated words, recognizes the wisdom of letting go.
We are keenly aware “That Guy” would not (could not?) hear.
Finally, the meeting ends.
I check my phone after the meeting.
Direct message. Direct message. Who are you? What makes you think I’m looking for a dentist? And, why would I choose you? I don’t even know anyone who knows you.
Unfollow.
Blame it on “That Guy.”
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